Not long ago trophies, medals and awards were reserved for triumphs, victories or wins.

 

They were to mark accomplishments above and beyond the norm. Then along came some brilliant people who said, “Let’s award trophies to everyone who routinely participated.” These sage advisors felt that meaningless trophies would bolster the self-image of the recipient.

 

I have provided care to countless number of children over 50 years of practice.

 

I have enjoyed conversation with these children during their visits. It became quite clear that trophies given for routine performance or for simply being on the team did nothing to increase self-image. In fact, many felt deflated by receiving a trophy for doing nothing special.
 

Think of the number of times your own offspring said, “Don’t tell people about my participation trophy. It’s no big deal.” They were embarrassed when you bragged about something so meaningless.

 

Some of the patients told me the award was for just showing up. They saw it as a reward for the fact that they could not or did not excel. That is certainly not an ego booster.

 

It is more appropriate to tell them that you are proud of their being on a team and for sticking with the hard work that entailed.

 

That will mean more to your child than a gold plastic cup that they must explain to friends and relatives. Awards for routine participation diminishes the value of the awards for achievement.
 

Do your offspring a favor.

 

Talk to them and tell them that you are proud. Personal praise will do more for their self-image. A pat on the back and a hug will do more for their ego.
 

One last bit of advice. Attend the games, contests or performances as a supportive and benevolent spectator; not as a pseudo coach or critic.